THE Shopping Channel

I am getting sucked into the vortex that is QVC.

I appreciate the professionalism of the presenters: their ability to talk about a diamonique (!) ring for 8 minutes ("absolutely stunning"), their kindness to barmy old phone callers (yes, I have considered it...), Dale the twinkly charmer, who cracked up when he read out a viewer's name, mis-typed as Turdy, then felt he had to apologise in case it was correct and possibly ethnic.

Last night was the "Models Prefer" cosmetic show with Stacey, the larger-than-life, loud, funny, down-to-earth company owner. Someone give her a show, for goodness' sake. She could take on Jonathan Ross, no messing.

And then there's Pippa, Julia, Charlie .........aaaaarggghhhhh!!!!